I grew up loving three things:
1. Friday night / Saturday mornings
2. Power-puff girls which later became Sister Sister
3. The sight of my #10s and #20s under the tray on the dining table.
So every Saturday morning while watching power puff girls and eating akara and milky-pap (akamu), I will raise up the tray, pack out all the #10s and #20s I had managed to save up over the week and count them, then recount them, then recount them over again (because I liked the feel of the notes on my hands) before rearranging them based on their denominations then hiding it all in the very old typewriter on the corridor leading to mom’s room. Lol, nobody ever guessed where my money was hidden.
That was how much money meant to me. I never played with my cash. I loved to read, write and make money. Mhen, I was business savvy and business minded! Life was good, really, because I was making far above my pocket money and living large and I was beyond happy 😊.
When I got into College of Medicine and had to stop selling things because I couldn’t manage it all, I devised another means of making money which wasn’t such a great means actually (I won’t tell you, so don’t ask me) and that went on for a while till late 300 level when I decided enough was enough with money controlling me and it was time to set my priority straight.
What made me call myself to order?
• I was too money conscious – I hardly gave because I hardly spent. I hardly spent because I didn’t want my bank account to fall below a certain amount of money. I didn’t want my account to fall below a certain amount of money because I was trying to save up for something (intangible if I must add) and more often than not, I was saving up for something I didn’t need, just wanted!
• I was putting my parents under a lot of stress – they were not complaining out loud, but I could tell they were like, “God, we are grateful for this child, but she’s so damn expensive!” (Lool, I can actually picture my dad saying that kind of prayer). I was always calling home and after the usual pleasantries and small talks, I will remind them of my pocket money and the extra they promised to add from the previous week. Even when they send and I call to say thank you, I will remind them not to forget me the following week (my exact words). It was that bad🙈.
• I was too scared of living life – Just because I was trying to maintain a certain amount in my account, I would buy cheap things, overly manage things, not go out or do anything fun. In fact, whenever my account fell below a certain sum of money, I get cranky, worked up, then depressed and moody and finally teary. I didn’t like waiting for some certain meetings after church because they always solicit for cash…lol, nothing annoyed me more than paying outstanding dues! I was a miser!
• It just wasn’t satisfying – I was your ideal selfish babe! I was selfish to myself, to others around me, to God and I wasn’t satisfied. I felt trapped, caged and if you know me well, I hate feeling caged. I don’t wanna being controlled by anything that isn’t God…
But what really brought the turn around for me was the beautiful conversation I had with one of my classmates (he knows himself) concerning giving. He said to me, “Kene if your hands are tightly closed, you can’t receive anything external just as you can’t give anything. You won’t receive shingbanyi, nada, from God and that is that!”
I went back to my room that day to think well and hard and make up my mind. I was so amazed by all he had said and what struck me more was how he wasn’t living on his parents money. God was his external and internal source of money. He was the first person to introduce the concept of SPIRITUAL ATM to me and how it worked.
P.s – remind me to introduce it to you too, if you want to live in perpetual abundance (lool).
And so when HS asked me to talk about money on the blog, I wondered what I was going to write, what my sub topics will be and why I was talking about money of everything else in the world! I just felt so unworthy to talk about the subject because I felt my account wasn’t exactly swimming in millions…yet.
But HS reminded me that:
1. I had all I needed, I wasn’t lacking anything and funnily, I didn’t work for any and most came when my account was empty (near-empty).
2. It wasn’t my company, it was His, I was just a mere employee.
And of course knowing how much I loved to muse, He asked me: “Kene, what’s so special about money that you humans want to die over it? Why do you love money so much?”
I said to myself: “Kene you’ve found yourself a blog topic.”
To be contd next post…stay put.
p.s – HS is my pet name for Holy Spirit.