My name is Felix. I am 29 years and I am a dropout. My story isn’t much different from any other drinker and there is nothing spectacular about my story. But I need help, badly need help.
I started drinking in senior year in secondary school because really everyone was doing it and I wanted to belong. Just a bottle of beer, a glass of champagne, wine, a cup of alcoholic punch… no harm done. Everyone I knew was a social drinker, it just looked weird to be in a gathering of friends and be the only one drinking water or sipping a can of malt…for a young adolescent, a guy for that matter, that wasn’t a rosy position to be because you would be laughed at, derided and called all sort of names. Not until I got into the university and life happened, did drinking move from hobby to a problem.
I met this beautiful babe, Bisi. She was extremely pretty, with curves in all the essential parts… She literally blew my mind away. We fell madly in love and did everything together, went everywhere together…everything lovers did, we did. Bisi was my life, my soul, the center of my existence, I couldn’t imagine life without her and didn’t have to for three years. By this time, we were already final year students of department of microbiology. That was when I started noticing the distance. She didn’t call everyday like she used to and when I did, she would give silly reasons why she couldn’t speak to me. Her eyes didn’t sparkle when she saw me, she stopped smiling or giggling at my jokes; in fact we started quarrelling over little things, big things, everything etc. The short of the matter was Bisi had met some other dude in medical school and according to her, “He was the one.”
I was devastated! Life, to me, had ended. That night, after the breakup, my roommate, Kunle, decided to take me to the bar to ‘let out some steam’. According to him, we were going to purge Bisi out from my system. And so I began the purging, one bottle became two, then three, then four and before you know it, I lost count totally. Kunle told me the next day that he had to literally carry me out on his back of the bar. Then he began to tease me about my inability to hold my liquor because of a woman. I was really pissed about his declaration and I challenged him to a drinking contest that evening. He accepted and a time was fixed.
This time the drinking venue was in our small room and our other roommate and some friends from other rooms were the judges. We both drank to stupor that it was hard to tell a winner. All I know is I passed out for two days and when I finally woke up, I felt like I had just discovered gold. That was when I started drinking heavily; at first to forget Bisi and then later to just simply cope with life because everything started falling apart.
I couldn’t concentrate in class, couldn’t concentrate on my books, it took so much will power to stay sober. I started failing, skipping classes entirely and by the end of the semester I was carrying over nearly all my courses. I couldn’t just get myself together…At this point, I wasn’t drinking because of Bisi anymore, I was drinking because I couldn’t just stop. One year, two, my life was getting messier…
Everyone started getting worried, all my friends had graduated, served and already working, I was still in school, not even attempting to graduate. My mother began carrying me from one doctor to another, church to church in search of help. Finally I was hospitalized in a rehabilitation home, where I started under going treatment.
Now, I’ve been sober for six months. I don’t understand my life. I am not happy. Half the time, I am depressed, wondering what life would be like on the other side of the world. I’m contemplating going back to drinking…maybe this time, I would successfully drink myself to death. But really, I need help and I need it soon.
Please help me.
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