When I was first given this to write about I had that initial “easy enough” attitude, but getting down to business I got stuck. I asked myself and kind of found it hard to respond so, I had to hold a conversation with two of my girlfriends, Oghenerobo and Osariemen (thanks ladies)… Okay, down to the crux of the matter “how do you handle a lady as a guy?” Generally, when we talk about how to handle ladies, we talk about respect and I am going to try to pin it down from general to relationship (specific).
Though it is generally known that a guy should respect a girl, when it comes right down to it actually, how many guys do? We are no longer in the good ol’ days where respect for a lady is expected of the gents, rather we are in an era where respect for the lady is streamlined to the ‘good’ guts. If a guy treats a lady with respect, younger or otherwise, he is viewed as “good” or “properly” brought up… So there goes the general norm of “respect the damsel” not because you need something of her but because she is a damysel (old English). Generally a guy who respects a lady is from the good breed and when we look into the idea of getting into a relationship we hear things like “I would love to settle with a guy who respects me” in other words, “respect” is an umbrella word for a guy who listens, is sensitive, open, understanding…or do I say it is synonymous to saying “I would love to settle for a guy who loves me”. We all are thinking “why say a guy who loves me? Would I want a guy who hates me?” Sounds stupid initially, but 1John 4 talks about love and a part in verse 16 explicitly states that “God is love” and we know that God is in love with us and the test of our salvation is love (check out 1John). Do you believe that God respects you as an individual? Yes I do; at least He gave me the gift of choice that is an indication of His respect for me as a person. So, it is right to say “A guy who loves me”. Respect for an individual is mutual either as a girl or as a guy and it involves a lot. Since we are talking about the gents here, my first indication of respect is how the guy treats you.
OLD FASHIONED RESPECT: opening of doors, waiting for her to step through the doors first when leaving a building or an elevator etc. walking with her and making sure she is on the safe side of the road, not using swear or cuss words when you’re with her, standing up when she enters the room, doffing your hat etc. My mum (pastor) loves to say: “if he doesn’t open doors for you during courtship, do not expect it in marriage” and I simply say a great YES!! To that… Do I hear an Amen? LOL.
LISTENING: I have met my fair share of guys who love to be heard, yapping about significant nonsense without waiting to be heard or to hear the partner’s response. Listening to a lady is a way of showing I care for what you have to say. Asides from the “yappers” we have the “snappers” too. They are never patient to hear what you have to say. listening is said to have occurred when you can retain or remember what has been said; “faith comes by hearing and HEARING by the word of God” there is a colossal difference between hearing and listening, the second “hearing” here I believe has more to do with listening. The word of God has a voice I strongly believe.
SENSITIVITY: A guy ‘gats’ to be sensitive to the needs of his woman. Earlier today I was listening to Rev. Sam Adeyemi’s why marry and he made an example about a lady saying to her man that “You never loved me” and the guy, confused, replies, “But, we were together all night. Where is this coming from?” and all she is trying to say is “I need you to show me that you love me”. Guys speak in facts, ladies speak in parables (LOL). Only a sensitive guy would be able to decode what the lady above is really saying. So a guy just ‘gats’ to be sensitive in a relationship.
I would end with this, OPENNESS in a relationship. You’ve got to be open no secrets at all. I’m not saying you should yap away all your life history in a day, but let her feel secured. Do not snap when she ventures into your past, future or present and vice versa.
My two pence on how to treat your lady, any lady is RESPECT HER, simple!