When it comes to relationship, I have observed over time that you don’t attract what you want neither do you attract who you admire, you attract who you are and the quality of person you become determines who you attract. A quick question: if you could marry yourself, would you end up with you?
Societal thinking has conformed us to the concept of “Better half”, implying that we are not complete persons and we need another to fill up the void… Actually when this happens – the filling of void – the person “filling” is drained, then emptiness and frustration becomes the order of the day. Therefore, note and mentally underline this: A PERSON DOES NOT COME INTO YOUR LIFE TO COMPLETE YOU BUT TO COMPLEMENT YOU.
No one truly wants a liability, It is imperative that everyone builds themselves up to become the asset their dream dude/lady (who is also an asset) is looking for. Work on yourself to become “the you no one can resist”.
In my last post (read here), we established that it is not good for a man to be alone (Gen.1:8) – we also noted that the bible stated ‘a man’ not ‘a boy’ – and we also established the fact that age really does not define a man, i.e. a fool at 20 can still be a fool at 80 if there is no change in his/her thought process.
That said, let’s define roles, starting with the men:
|Blown by the wind of life and has no sense of direction.||He is vision-driven and is motivated by the mental picture he has of his future.|
|The choice of a spouse is not futuristic but based on the immediate gratification.||He has a picture of his future and therefore looks around and picks the woman that fits or has the potential to fit into that future.|
|Ruled by emotions and an emotion ruled life will eventually become an emotion ruined life.||Has emotional health or stability (not governed by feelings). He has emotions, yes, but he has not governed by them.|
|Wants attention.||Gives attention|
|Has a dependent mentality||Has an independent mindset|
|He looks for what he can get (in order to drain the lady) and they are difficult to please.||They look for what they can give.|
Question is, who are you? (For the guys) and who do you want to end up with? (For the ladies) To be continued….
Collins is an entrepreneur, and the founder of Kingdom Thinkers, a fast growing group of entrepreneurs whose sole aim is to activate the mind of Christ in the market place, empowering people to do business God’s way, and also is the convener of the yearly Transformation conferences.