Good morning. Welcome to another week on What is your greatest fear? This week, Brammy talks to us about his fears and expects a feedback in form advice for him. So read on and at the end, don’t forget to leave a message for Brammy.
What is fear?
I really can’t describe it. Maybe cause I hardly felt it until lately… It’s safe to say that I come from a relatively “get whatever you want” type of family, so while growing up, I was a little immune to this syndrome fear.
From whatever food to eat, new clothes, school fees, hangout with friends down to video games my parents made sure I really had no reason to worry. Don’t get me wrong though, I wasn’t brought up a spoilt child. For my parents all I had to do was bring back home the best grade in school.
This became my sole goal in life, being top of my class. Some would imagine that should have been a reason to fear, fortunately no. I wasn’t putting up die hard effort and I always turned out top in class.
Looking back, I should have been scared of being accepted among my peers and girls. I wasn’t exactly cute looking; coupled with the fact that I had an unusually large head [Not my fault 😦 ]. But then I realized early enough that people preferred money, so I gave them exactly what they wanted. Making or loosing friends was the least of my problems. I supposed these so called friends I had didn’t love me genuinely so it was more of the fun I derived than anything intimate.
Leaving high school and getting into Med school changed the shape of my life entirely. First of all I only got in after so many attempts at the board examinations. Not that my IQ had degenerated overtime, no. It only became crystal clear overtime the truth that success especially in Med school is not entirely dependent on work and study time. Jumping past that hurdle I felt that had to be my worst torment in life.
I was wrong! 3rd year in Medical School, 2 months to my professional exams, with the worst in course scores I could ever wish for, I am terrified! It is no longer the fear of not being top in class, it is passing into 4th year even if I have to be the last on the list. Everyday I struggle with trying to study just to relieve this feeling of mind numbing fear… However, remembering based on my experience that one could still fail even with so much work, I am brought back to where I desperately seek to run from.
I have been talking to people and I have been receiving some really encouraging word and advice.
But, I’ll love to hear you talk to my situation before I let out any bit of the war going on in my head.
Brammy is a year 3 MBBS student at College of Medicine, University of Lagos. Read more of his works @ recessmed.wordpress.com