What is my greatest fear?
I’ve been sitting down for quite a while now trying to compose my thoughts together in order to answer the question and I am finding it pretty difficult to write about my fears. Maybe it is the fact that talking about my fears makes me more vulnerable…maybe I’m just scared it could be used against me, LOL. All the same, I am still going to pen down my fears as much as that scares me. So, here we go:
What is my greatest fear? I would say rats, but that would not be entirely correct….I think I am really scared of failing. Letting people down also scares me. I am scared of waking up one morning ten years from now and realizing that I am not living up to my potentials. I am scared of disappointing my loved ones. I am very scared of making mistakes in life. By life mistakes, I do not only mean choice of career; I am also talking of relationships, life partner, place to live, even selection of schools for my kids, decisions that would benefit my household etc. I am scared of graduating. Not that I don’t want to leave this school, God knows I am fed up of University of Lagos, it’s the thoughts of what to do after school that sometimes gets me staring at the ceiling at night trying to figure out what to do with my life. I am scared of not breaking barriers and attaining heights like I dream of. I am scared of not being a good writer whose work would impact generations and generations to come.
What else scares me? Oh yeah, I am quite scared of getting married, LOL. I am also scared that one day I might have a permanent writer’s block; that one makes me shudder. Sometimes, I am just scared of change. I am not predisposed to change, so trying new things, doing new things, taking risks, giving people another chance etc. terrifies me…
In essence, I am not super girl, I don’t know it all and because life is full of uncertainties, I do have fears about what my tomorrow will be like. But I have learnt that everything I ever want is on the other side of fear, so I do what I can and pray for courage to do the ones I can’t seem to bring myself to do. That’s it!
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