This week, I would just talk about the issues in my life; the ones that worry me and the ones that have me grinning sheepishly. I’m thinking you would be thinking (English well intended) it doesn’t make much sense writing about the recent happenings in ones life, but I find it quite refreshing to, so I do most times instead of saying them out loud. And maybe if I am lucky, you (my dear readers)  could gain one or two things from my scribble of the week.

No 1 on my list of worries this week, should be awarded to my state of mind. It’s like I’ve lost touch with the world, literally. I seem to be bothered about too many things; most especially my relationship with God. I feel like we don’t talk as much as before. Maybe that will explain the hole I sort of feel in my soul….maybe. My relationship with people also seems to be suffering lapses. I find my tongue tied whenever it’s time to speak. I discovered, I am quite inept in accurately converting my thoughts into words and when I’m in the midst of a crowd, I rather love to block my ears with loud soulful music than contribute to the discussion. I’m really hoping I’m not on the path to becoming a certified recluse (I’ve been accused before).
No 2 goes to radiation, radiography, physics… all of them put together. Honestly, the course scares me as much as it excites me. I  still can’t believe God threw me into my worst nightmare (physics) and I am enjoying myself. I’ve never been a fan of physics; doing it isn’t exactly English for me. But I find I can sort of manage not to get everything muddled in my brain, if I take my time to read between the lines. That’s a good start right? Where I do have issues however, is wondering if I would love to expose my genes to radiation mutation for a long time. Because, let’s face fact, no X-ray, MRI, CT or Ultrasound machine has been produced to only dish out radiation to the patient and not the operator. Gene mutation, cancer, sterility and what not, gives me the chills; I am seriously wondering if I shouldn’t go back for MBBS and specialize in community health (lol). That makes me sound like a chicken, but really you can’t blame me. There is plenty cash in my line of study, even for a student, but there is also lots of radiation for damage-rendering; if you dig!
I worry about finances. No 3 on my list, goes to my all time worry of life. Money. As soon as my account balance starts dropping to a certain level, my heart begins to beat erratically. And my parents seem to have develop this thing for last minute miracle/posting of cash. Actually, finances is amongst my top 5 worry (it always is, they never send enough) because my birthday is on Sunday and I want to buy Debonair’s pizza and a bucket of chicken from chicken republic; and of course one hollandia drink. Also, my friends might want something and I might eventually be forced to get stuffs for them, so I figured it’s better to be on a safe side, kill two birds with one stone and still be happy. I really really do want pizza and one bucket of Chicken republic chicken. But if I attempt to buy it with what is in my account, then I would be on my way to hunger strike till alert comes in. Moreover, it will send a wrong signal to my Ogas at the top, the people that control my finances, that I have enough to probably sustain me for the month. That’s P.M (pocket money) slashing o! I don’t even pray for such for my enemy!
I’m excited about my birthday. It’s not even my real birthday, but I am still ecstatic about it. First, it reminds me of how much God loves me and how He plans to compensate me after 3 years of no date on the calendar. Second, it marks the end of 3 years of having to endure nature skipping my date (not that I’m bothered though). Third, it’s on a Sunday, what better way to celebrate ones birthday if not in God’s presence. Four, I’m getting older and closer to being with the Lord. Five, extra cash for the birthday girl; if they send though, they’ve been saying “It’s not your real birthday, so wait till it’s on the calendar” (that scares me abit). Six, I have a tangible excuse to buy pizza. I’ve been wanting to buy this for as long as I can remember. But whenever I get free change to spare, I do this ‘alaroro’ calculation in my head and invest my money into something more tangible than eating junk. Facts: why would a student, like myself, wake up one beautiful morning and decide to throw #4500 on pizza that I wouldn’t even enjoy because of begger-club members when I have clothes to buy, books to buy or savings to throw it in???
Anyway, I think those are the main happenings in my life for this week. For my fears, I need to re-read Isaiah 43:1-7 and claim it. My excitement, Psalm 100 and 136, will do the job. I think I’ve said all that needs to be said. Let me not bore you any further.
Peace!

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2 thoughts on “Thinking Out Loud

  1. This is coming far too late, as you would definitely agree. It’s not enough to be a silent reader and “appreciator” of your work. So I’d like you to to know that I’m right here reading, appreciating, and giving you the rousing ovation, as only I know how to give

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